Name update
For the purposes of this blog, I shall hereforth refer to M. as "Ace" and to B. as "Deuce."
It's like locking the car door when you're driving. Not really much of an actual help, but it's a small token of security.
Once Upon a November
Today is November 7, a day that will always represent one of the most defining moments in my family's life. Fourteen years in Heaven. It was roughly 1:15 in the afternoon when Brian gave his last breath on Earth. It was a Monday, and that afternoon and for many years to come, I found myself begging and praying to God: Please don’t let anything happen to me. I need to be healthy, strong, and alive for my boys, at least until they live on their own. Please, please, please don’t let me get sick. As I reflect on that time, I know how traumatized I was, allowing my fear to own me. At some point, the feeling and prayers became less frantic because I learned to tuck the fear away. I guess I had hoped it would just disappear. This year, as most of you know, has been a journey for my whole family. We have worked together to face challenges, and, yes, we have all grown. But the fear that I so carefully stuffed into the deepest part of my heart? Well, it never did disappear and has been i
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