Another Year in Heaven

This past Friday, November 7th, marked the three year anniversary of Brian's Homecoming. And my family is together, happy and healthy. What a testament to my Father, whose promises are faithful and true, and to His perfection and plan for a life that seems chaotic and scary.

This year I experienced peace. Deep breathing peace. Yes, I miss Brian, probably always will, but it doesn't ache so intensely anymore. It's restful and quiet, a graceful tugging every now and then on my heart, not an iron grip, squeezing tirelessly. As I reflect on the past three years, I see just how big of a mess I was. To those first months when life felt like Tom's Twister. Focus, breathe, take a step forward, wait I'm dizzy. To the first year, then the second, when reality stampeded over my life, and I did everything to avoid broken bones. To today, the beginnings of the fourth year without my sweet Brian, when I'm hopeful for new beginnings and new endeavors. Life is but a moment's time in light of eternity. Knowing that in the very fabric of my soul has helped me embrace the pain and joy of the moment, the mercy and grace of the day, and the glorious discomfort and blessings of this earthly life. To know Him more, to feel His presence, to see my heart transformed by His work, may this year unfold in His great plan.

Comments

Melanie said…
Beautiful! Love you, Mel
9:30 AM
Anonymous said…
I remember when I first met you at Bible Study and you shared the Sara Groves version of Great is Thy Faithfulness. So true, so true...time and again we see it...though it comes into better focus with some distance. Love you, friend!! B.
11:16 AM
Jacob, Lisa and Charlie said…
wow... what an amazing post. Your strength in this post speaks so powerfully of our God.
9:30 PM
. said…
Wonderfully written. We pray for you daily. Can't wait to see you three on Friday!
Love,
Andy
9:50 AM
sarahedmondson said…
Mrs. Maynor [you will always be mrs. maynor to me. i hope that's ok], thank you for sharing what you do. I only keep up every once in a while, but your strength and the transparency with which you share God's work in you is such a testimony.
8:05 PM
Amy said…
so glad and so thankful to hear of you experiencing peace! that makes my heart smile.
9:23 PM
Katie said…
Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. Your family is a blessing to us!
8:46 PM
Anonymous said…
Susan, thank you for posting this! I'll never forget Bryan or your love for him! I'll never forget that chapel message you did the January after Bryan died which just so happened to be the day after my dad was diagnosed with cancer. It is my greatest fear to lose my husband or a loved one to cancer. It brings joy to my heart to hear how God has brought you through. I look forward to what incredible things God will continue to do in your life!!! Nicole (Collett) Wilkerson
7:36 AM
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