The M&M Story

Five years ago today (it was actually a Monday), Brian entered the gates of heaven.   Max's prayer this morning over breakfast:  "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day.  And thank you that five years ago Daddy had his homecoming." Briggs' prayer that followed:  "Dear Jesus, thank you for this day.  And thank you that Daddy is in heaven with you." As I reflect on this year, once again I marvel at God's faithfulness and his sweet hand of redemption. I think back to that first anniversary of his homecoming when I trudged through each moment as though I was in quicksand. Deep breath. Foot forward. I still wasn't sure it was real.  But God remained faithful and I never quite sunk so deep that I couldn't move. Today we went to see Brian's stone and Max leaned down to kiss it. He leaned up and said, "Mommy, I remember when Daddy couldn't breathe very well and had that machine.  And I asked him to play legos with me--the Duplo legos--an...

B:  Why did Mario and Luigi cross the road?  To get Princess Peach and Toad. M:  Why did the Scarecrow cross the road?  To "scare" crows.

I don't like my thighs.  Never have, and probably never will.  There is just *a lot* of them--more than I want. And I know the filter from my brain to my mouth is rather thin. Rice paper thin. "Did I really just say that out loud?"  And then there is the issue of my independence.  Funny how I still think I am totally in control, yet clearly I am wrong. Create the earth? No. Make the sun shine? No. Decide how the story ends?  Not really. But the thing is...despite all my shortcomings, flaws, and insecurities, I'm beautiful. Way beautiful.   Stunning, as Lucy Van Pelt would say.   And my life is beautiful. Way beautiful. Stunning, in fact.  Grace. Again.  Beautiful, Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli Don’t know how it is You looked at me And saw the person that I could be Awakening my heart Breaking through the dark Suddenly Your grace Like sunlight burning at midnight Making my life something so Beautiful, beautiful Mercy...

I'm way behind on posting--there are so many beautiful tidbits that come from the "mouths of babes." I'm at the tail end of being a part of a musical (behind the scenes, of course), still adjusting to married life and systems we have yet to create, and continuing to learn the delicate balance of work/family/play. But...onto the beautiful tidbit.  Now this one occurred at 5:45 this morning and I was half asleep, so I'm sure I will miss most of the details. But M came into our bed and snuggled up close announcing--"Mommy, I had another bad dream."  This, by the way, occasionally happens.  We all have them, yes? My sweet son proceeded to tell me about people chasing him, they turned into zombies and then he said, "and that translated into me running as fast as I could to safety.  Then I woke up." I often have the same dream (though not sure I've been chased by zombies--more like the sleestaks from Land of the Lost)--and it struck me that ...

M:  Hey, Mommy, if there was a contest between Michaelangelo and DaVinci for the best artist, do you know who I would vote for? Mommy:  Who? M:  DaVinci. He made that important statue of David. But did you know that David was naked in the statue?  And had no arms? This conversation took place right after Max had gone to the bathroom and taken a shower. I smiled realizing that my 8-year-old, not-so-little boy was thinking about century old artists.   Yep, kind of beautiful. 

M sees a moth on the ground and promptly stomps on it. B's response:  "Max! You just killed God's (pronounced gawd's) creation!"

Until We Are Broken, Our Lives Will Be Self-Centered True strength does not come out of bravado. Until we are broken, our life will be self-centered, self-reliant; our strength will be our own. So long as you think you are really something in and of yourself, what will you need God for? I don't trust a man who hasn't suffered; I don't let a man get close to me who hasn't faced his wound. Think of the posers you know-are they the kind of man you would call at 2:00 A.M., when life is collapsing around you? Not me. I don't want cliches; I want deep, soulful truth, and that only comes when a man has walked the road I've been talking about.  As  Frederick Buechner  says, To do for yourself the best that you have it in you to do-to grit your teeth and clench your fists in order to survive the world at its harshest and worst-is, by that very act, to be unable to let something be done for you and in you that is more wonderful still. The trouble with steeling yoursel...

Two weeks after my first husband entered the gates of heaven, I fell in love with Elphaba.  I didn't mean to--especially after everything I'd been through--but it was hard not to be infatuated with the green-skinned beauty who--well--defied gravity.  For many, many years--I would spend at least six Sunday nights a year with my BFF from high school seeing some of the greatest (and not so greatest) shows in history at the Fox Theatre-- Jekyll and Hyde, Bring on Da Noise, Bring on Da Funk, Footloose, Fosse --too many to count and then there was Wicked . After every show, I would call Brian on the way home and talk him through all the amazing (or not so amazing) points of the show, even so much as acting out my favorite part when I walked in the door at 10:30 p.m.  So it was a little bit off-setting when--on a late November evening--I didn't have anyone to call after I had encountered my soul sister.  My loving and most gentle little brother was the recipient of my phone...

Last week I got married. Graciously—for a second time. My first go around donned the dress, the veil, the church, the 300 people. This time it was different. On the beach, with best friends and family. Sand and sea. Barefoot. Champagne brunch on a rooftop. Evening gathering, filled with immeasurable love and laughter. I could not have designed anything more perfect. Even with all its imperfections. As I’ve reflected on that moment of pure grace, I keep dancing around the great biblical notion of privileged suffering. Maybe it’s all those years in Los Angeles when I first learned of the “very important people’ concept—being on the list for On the Rox, getting in the side door with Vince Vaughn or hanging with Prince in the VIP room. Name-dropping. Walking on the red carpet. The Deserved. The Entitled. But what if the deserved didn’t get to be first? Instead, they were last? VIP suffering, maybe? As I’ve traversed life as a widow—one without a partner but never alone...

M: "Mom, who would win if a TRex and a Dragon got in a duel but the dragon did not have his fire or wings?" B: (After being asked about his favorite part of a recently attended wedding): "The Cake and the Canoe (the bride and groom canoed across the pond to the reception).

An excerpt from Captivating : Unveiling our beauty really just means unveiling our feminine hearts. It's scary, for sure. That is why it is our greatest expression of faith, because we are going to have to trust Jesus-really trust him. We'll have to trust him that we have a beauty, that what he has said of us is true. And we'll have to trust him with how it goes when we offer it, because that is out of our control. We'll have to trust him when it hurts, and we'll have to trust him when we are finally seen and enjoyed. That's why unveiling our beauty is how we live by faith. Unveiling our beauty is our greatest expression of hope. We hope it will matter, that our beauty really does make a difference. We hope there is a greater and higher Beauty, hope we are reflecting that Beauty, and hope it will triumph. Our hope is that all is well because of Jesus, and that all will be well because of him. So we unveil beauty in hope. And finally, we unveil beauty in th...

Recently we traveled (by car--it was an adventure) to Colorado to visit one of my college roommates. Four adults + six kids + lots of activities = loads of fun. Activity List: Football with the dads Park play Alpine Slide Bungee jumping (back flips rule!!) Swimming pool for the day Movie night Science museum (dinosaurs and mummy exhibits!) Ice cream cones Boy sleep over at Poppy's Turkey burgers on the grill Drum lessons with Ian Shows and Tricks in the backyard (yes, we have video) Date night for the Parentals GNO for the roommates

Going to soccer camp at WCA Making friends Drinking Gatorade Going swimming at the pool Floating down the lazy river Flying down the water slide Playing kickball in the backyard Planting basil Eating popsicles Taking evening outings Watching the Cards play Listening to music outside Taking trips to visit friends and family Colorado California Experiencing Grace Experiencing Redemption Beautiful days of summer are here.

M: Mom, do they have Aunt and Uncle Day like they have Mother's Day and Father's Day? S: No. M: Well, they should. I would make Aunt Mimi, Aunt Nealy, Uncle Peepee, and Uncle Stephen cards and do stuff for them. They deserve it! Oh, and I would wrestle Uncle Peepee.

My boys have been well-trained. Thanks, Nana. They planned everything by themselves and executed the perfect Mother's Day morning for me. There was a note on the cabinet where I keep my coffee cups. It said, "Look in here." So I did. A gorgeous card made by Max. And a yellow bracelet that said Strength on it. "Mommy, I wanted blue but Mrs. Rahm didn't have anymore, so I picked yellow. And then I saw that it said strength and I thought that fit you because we haven't had Daddy here since we were way little." Then, my little peeps (all whispering) went outside and brought me a flower that Briggs had grown in class. They had kept it alive for two whole days. Outside, hidden. Then I received a coupon book. From B--offering to do things like water the plants and give me some quiet time. And then came the hugs and kisses. The best part.

So last night we went to church. Max sang songs with the choir, one of two boys up there. What I love about him is that he does what he wants and doesn't care what anyone thinks. He sang his heart out. And Briggs--had me in tears--they picked out gifts for their family in his catechism class--and he picked out a pair of shoes for me (size 13 little girls, mind you) and was SO proud of them. All I could think of was that song they play at Christmas--Christmas Shoes--about a little boy buying shoes for his dying mother--I couldn't stop crying or hugging him. I have the sweetest little guys in the world. How I love them.

WHO THE MEEK ARE NOT Not the bristle-bearded Igors bent under burlap sacks, not peasants knee-deep in the rice paddy muck, nor the serfs whose quarter-moon sickles make the wheat fall in waves they don't get to eat. My friend the Franciscan nun says we misread that word "meek" in the Bible verse that blesses them. To undersand the meek (she says) picture a great stallion at full gallop in a meadow, who-- at his master's voice--sizes up to a stunned but instant halt. So with the strain of holding that great power in check, the muscles along the arched neck keep eddying, and only the velvet ears prick forward, awaiting the next order. -Mary Karr It's so easy to picture myself in the rice paddies. In many ways, my story--my main character--could look more like the heroine of the The Good Earth. Not that she was weak....but...I'd rather have velvet ears. And fall down the rabbit hole. And meet a wizard and fight the White Witch. And then ride the waves of a st...

One day after school not too long ago, our favorite high schooler in the world, Ellie, was hanging out with us. I asked her to take a family picture, much like the one we did last year, so that I could use it for our Christmas greeting. M and B raced to their rooms, rummaged through drawers and such, and emerged quite handsomely in vests and ties. For about a 1/2 hour we posed, made funny faces, irritated each other, even tried to do a couple pictures outside (you can only imagine). Well, this was the very last one we took, and it worked well enough. I love my little family.

The tree is up, the lights are on, and the Christmas music continuously echos through my cozy home. And two little boys are getting into the spirit of the season. Not long ago, B started singing, much like Mariah Carey - "All I Want For Christmas is You." I think he was singing to his favorite piggy, Squishy. Funny thing about Christmas, it brings such exacerbated emotion. I've decided most of it is a ploy by the advertisers, but there is always that bit of truth that is thread throughout the commercial deluge of stimuli. I've sort of fallen in love with Amy Grant's song, "I Need a Silent Night." Thinking back so many years ago, I picture a stable, a bed of hay, two teenagers, and bunch of smelly animals. And probably taking place in the summer not the dead of winter. How beautiful it must have been. As I embark on this festive season, I need that silent night, to help me remember why we even have green and red and fudge and presents. Yes, it cam...

First, the stitches. About a week ago during one of Max's evening soccer practices, we had quite the event. B fell and bumped the back of his head on the play structure. Lots of bustling parents and plenty of tears later, we arrived at Missouri Baptist Hospital to quickly learn that a few stitches were necessary for my very brave five year old. We spent many a minutes (almost two hours) watching Bugs Bunny/Road Runner, singing songs, and telling stories while we waited for the doctor to perform the procedure. B was brave, brave, brave with only a few tears. Mommy, on the other hand, cried plenty. But there was a popsicle at the end of the evening and lots of snuggles (and piggies) when he got home. On another note - here is the conversation that ensued this evening: M: Mom, did you know that I'm 7 and I still sleep with a stuffed animal? S: Do you think that is good or bad? M: Well, it's bad. No, I mean, I don't know. What do you think? S: Did someone say...

Tonight we had a rough night. Everyone was tired and basically I waited way too long to do the bedtime routine, mainly because all of us have screen addiction - we are into learning computer games around here as incentives to finish homework. Okay...so...as Max was in the bath and I was frustrated with several behavior issues, I said to him, "Please stop being sassy - I think you are reading too much of Calvin and Hobbes. (he loves it because there is a tiger - i'm not so fond of the attitude)" His response: "Oh, I was sassy way before reading Calvin and Hobbes." After baths, I needed to view a video for tomorrow that had Brian in it - Max wanted to watch it. He crawled up next to me, put his hand on my back (and kept it there for the whole video) and said, "It's okay if you get sad Mommy, I'm right here."

While playing Mario Kart online (with good friends): M (who is baby luigi): "You better not mess with a baby!" M and B: "They are kicking our butts!" Not sure where they learned that one....

I Am a Rock Star by M. Maynor I am a rock star! Master of the skull. I believe in God forever and ever and ever. Not for three or four or five or six days. I do it every day in my life.

Okay, I know, it's almost the end of July. Better late than never, right? Well, I'm not a huge Mother's Day fan. But my own mother is and she has trained my boys by teaching them to make cards, to be sweet and do loving things for me on that day. So, it's morning, and of course, I'm up before anyone else, and I'm busy making coffee when I hear Max sort of running down the hall. He's usually not so exuberant in the morning, but I didn't think too much about it. He asked if I had made my coffee yet (now, I was curious - that is never a question I usually get in the morning) - I said I was working on it but it would be a few minutes - heating water, etc. He hovered around me and finally said, "why don't you get my vitamins out?" At this point, it was clear he wanted me to do something specific, so I complied and opened the cabinet to get the vitamins - and out fell a gorgeous homemade card. He beamed. Apparently, in the middle of the nigh...

Painting Like Michelangelo Originally uploaded by smaynor Briggs and best buddy Luke are preparing to paint Bible stories while on their backs under a table, just like Michelangelo did when he painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel - gotta love Mrs. Burzinski. I need to organize pictures of his art and then I'll post all his work.

a quick stop before le pain de quotidien Originally uploaded by smaynor I had the privilege of spending a few days in London with one of my roommates from college. She and her family live in Surrey, where life moves a little slower and 4:00 tea abounds. My friend and I traversed the great city, seeing Westminster Abbey, the British Museum, the Portrait Gallery, Portabello Road Flea Market, Parliament, and a host of other glorious sites, one of which was a stop at the communal table--Le Pain de Quotidien. An afternoon at Windsor Castle, a morning at Stonehenge, High Tea in London--I'm amazed at the intricacies of story throughout our fragile world.

Rockin' Out Originally uploaded by smaynor Sometime in early spring, there was a concert in my living room. Snagged this great shot of the keyboard player.

Going back a few months, both my boys entered odd digits this year. In lieu of birthday parties, each one had a "date" with me--Max to see Cirque Dreams at the Fox and Briggs to the new wing of the Magic House. Max, though he was seven, still wanted to sit on my lap the whole show, his favorite part being the "tiger" acrobats--these ridiculously strong men who climbed up each other (only strength, no props) to be a four person tower. We went with my best friend from high school, Kristen, and her family. At some point, she said to me--"Connor (her 10 year old son) would be in Tim's lap if Tim would let him." Little boys.... Briggs could not have been more excited to explore and learn at the Magic House. Just yesterday, we were invited for a Free Night with our church, and Briggs "explained" everything to Max--I think he will be running the country someday. More birthday pics to come.

So much to share: Birthdays Spring Days Trips New Endeavors Mother's Day surprises Last of school days Will do so. Very Soon. Lots of pictures.

Thank you for all the prayers for Max. We are not out of this yet - but at the very least, we see some healing and maybe not as many little pox places as before. He's in much better spirits now. I sometime marvel at God's creation as I look at my two boys - so different and so complex. I've been doing a fair amount of reading on learning styles in order to best support the both of them. As I've discovered, they learn in completely opposite ways. You can only imagine homework time. Last week, Briggs brought home two books that he wanted to read and promptly sat on the couch and read them. Max brought home an invention - a water catcher that he'd made out of recycled material during center time - and promptly went outside to try and hook it up. Briggs invents more homework. Max doodles all over his spelling sheet. I LOVE my little guys!

Please pray for Max. He has a type of pox virus that is wreaking havoc on his immune system. In order to treat it, he is very uncomfortable, and it seems to be leaving little pockmarks, which could be permanent. Please pray that God would heal him completely and that there would be no permanent marks. Thanks.

In the middle of wrapping paper and gifts this Christmas morning: B: Max, I always want to love you. M: Well, when you love me, you always knock me down. (as in a hug) A lovely Christmas celebration this year. I was blessed to see my little boys love on each other and love on others. And as I've reflected on this season, I'm humbled to see God's redemptive hand in so many corners of my life. Recently, M shared with me some thoughts about Brian, how he missed him and what Brian must look like now that he was in heaven. And then in his quiet, reflective way, he expressed his love and trust and respect for a special friend of ours, a man whom he's known since he was born (and who knew Brian). In his own words: "I think of him like a dad." Rather beautiful and graceful of God, I must say. He's faithful to the big picture of Christmas and to the small picture of each individual child that He calls His own. Have a very Merry Christmas.

my little family Originally uploaded by smaynor I rarely get a family picture as I tend to be the photographer, but my mom graciously offered and I like this one. Merry Christmas all.

first day of school Originally uploaded by smaynor A little late. First day of school for M and B. First grade, full day. JK, three full days. Rock star brothers.

IMG_4128 Originally uploaded by smaynor Halloween fun. Fire Pit. Turkey Dogs. Costumes. S'mores. Candy. Fellowship.

This past Friday, November 7th, marked the three year anniversary of Brian's Homecoming. And my family is together, happy and healthy. What a testament to my Father, whose promises are faithful and true, and to His perfection and plan for a life that seems chaotic and scary. This year I experienced peace. Deep breathing peace. Yes, I miss Brian, probably always will, but it doesn't ache so intensely anymore. It's restful and quiet, a graceful tugging every now and then on my heart, not an iron grip, squeezing tirelessly. As I reflect on the past three years, I see just how big of a mess I was. To those first months when life felt like Tom's Twister. Focus, breathe, take a step forward, wait I'm dizzy. To the first year, then the second, when reality stampeded over my life, and I did everything to avoid broken bones. To today, the beginnings of the fourth year without my sweet Brian, when I'm hopeful for new beginnings and new endeavors. Life is but a...

milky way galaxy Originally uploaded by smaynor One afternoon this fall, M designed his own version of the Milky Way galaxy. What you can't see are Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto. They are in the bottom right part of the patio, just a little too much out of my range for the photo. What surprised me was that he knew all the planets and in order. Love my spatial/visual child.

I'm all about finding grace in every moment of my life. A monumental endeavor for a task-oriented, approval-addicted person such as me. That's why I decided to make it priority. And I just finished _Grace Eventually_ by Anne Lamott and _Sin Boldly: A Field Guide to Grace_ by Cathleen Falsani, two extraordinary reads by two extraordinary women. It took me 27 years to finally grasp any sort of understanding of grace. I distinctly recall driving home in LA traffic - down Veteran Avenue in Century City, when I began weeping. I mean pull-over-to-the-side-of-the-road weeping. Only one other moment like that have I had and that was about cancer and Brian and dying and saying good-bye. Uncontrollable crying. Headache-will-soon-follow crying. Freedom crying. Full of Grace crying. In that beautiful moment did I understand that there was absolutely nothing that would change my standing with Christ, stop trying to do and just begin to be. Of course, that moment so etched in m...

Days have flown. Time is disappearing. Deep breath I keep telling myself. School started weeks ago and I have yet to download pictures from my camera of the two snazziest boys I know. Everyone is doing well, though I think they would rather be half day. Both have complained at how looong the day is - oh, honeys, it is only beginning. We've got jobs, allowances, and strict bed times (which I'm currently trying to enforce EVERY night between negotiations). We have soccer practice, homework, and new friends. Ahhhh, elementary school. I used to think it was easier, but I'm not so sure about that - all the kids to filter, work to do, and bosses to manage, sans the mortgage and cost of gas.

The Meme of Fives Game My friends Amy and Deb both tagged me for the Meme of Fives Game. Here goes... How it works: 1. Post the rules of the game at the beginning. 2. Each player answers the questions about themselves. 3. At the end of the post, the player then tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they've been tagged and asking them to read the player's blog. 4. Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer. What were you doing five years ago? I was a mother of only one. What are five things on your to-do list for today? 1. make lunch for my little peeps 2. finish Sin Boldly 3. work out 4. finish laundry 5. draft baby video What are five snacks you enjoy? 1. almond butter and pretzels 2. apples 3. trail mix, all sorts 4. energy bars 5. grapes What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire? 1. Take a deep breath and smile once again at God's provision 2. Give to...

Yesterday as we rode in the car listening to a CD, M pipes up from the back. M: Hey, Mom. I know what that means. S: What are you talking about, buddy? M: The song. It was the VBS CD. The song currently playing, which I assumed was the one he referenced, was "Never Let Go" If I recall the lyrics correctly, they go something like this - "Never Let Go, never let go, oh, Lord, you never let go. Oh, Lord you never let go, thru the calm and thru the storms. Oh, Lord you never let go of me." M: The Lord never let go of Luke. S: (I'm thinking Luke Beachy and trying to guess what in the world he's going to say) Luke who, honey? M: You know, Luke when he was in the snow storm. He was, of course, referencing the great hero, Luke Skywalker, in his near death experience on the remote planet of Hoth. What a little dude. Love that he gets it.

On a swingset, singing to his friend: "Mommy doesn't have to push me anymore. Mommy doesn't have to push me anymore. I can pump! I can pump! I can pump!"

Wow. I can't believe how quickly the glory of summer slips into my memory. I have a stack of photos to load of flickr from our summer. VBS, Colorado, trips to the pool, swimming lessons, play dates at the park, lightening bugs, staying up late, ice cream, bike riding, visiting friends. We've had a good one, filled with laughter and activities and experiences. We've discussed God's Word, seen a ghost town, and hiked through the jungles of St. Louis. Now we move to apples, football games, cozy sweaters, and campfires. The beautiful inns of this life. With school in sight, we've begun to brush up on our math facts and reading and have already purchased new school shoes. M is going to 1st grade and full day! (Deep breath) And B, he's off to JK. Seems like only a moment ago they both had sippy cups and a brand new Piggy and Tiger.

It's been awhile. I'll catch up on our happenings at another time, but a quick note about Briggs. Recently, we went swimming at a friend's house and all of a sudden Briggs comes over to me, in angst, showing me something which looked like a splinter in his hand. He pulled it out and then started wailing. I wasn't sure what was up - splinter in the water? He kept crying, " I have a water poke. I have a water poke." He did calm down, but there was a little spot, small, but a spot resembling a bee sting. And sure enough, a few minutes later, a bee was hovering next to the wall.

A friend recently shared this Puritan prayer with me. I can't get it out of my mind. Christ Is All O lover to the uttermost, May I read the meltings of thy heart to me in the manger of thy birth, in the garden of thy agony, in the cross of thy suffering, in the tomb of thy resurrection, in the heaven of thy intercession. Bold in this thought I defy my adversary, tread down his temptations, resist his schemings, renounce the world, am valiant for truth. Deepen in me a sense of my holy relationship to thee, as spiritual bridegroom, as Jehovah's fellow, as sinners' friend. I think of thy glory and my vileness, thy majesty and my meanness, thy beauty and my deformity, thy purity and my filth, thy righteousness and my iniquity. Thou hast loved me everlastingly, unchangeably, may I love thee as I am loved; Thou hast given thyself for me, may I give myself to thee; Thou hast died for me, may I live to thee, in every moment of my time, in every movement of my mind, in every pulse...

I've been praying/looking for a loft/bunk bed system for my boys for over a year. Of course, retail they are almost cost prohibitive, but I've been fairly consistent in checking craigslist. Well, I finally found one - right price, right wood, right size. The whole deal. But, of course, I needed a truck. A couple phone calls and no truck later, my sister-in-law, Melanie, offered to help me. Mind you, this includes all four children because Uncle Peter works on Saturday. Well, I figured it would be an adventure if anything. We hit a couple of garage sales and actually found a couple of treasures, meaning things we would never buy in a store and really don't need, but want. I had emptied out my van, including all my seats, so all the kids piled in Melanie's car and I drove my empty van out to Fenton. No need for endless details, but the bed pieces did all fit in the van, and we made it all the way back to my house with no issues. We sent the children to play and...

While riding in the car: M: Hey, Briggs, did you know you are my best friend? B: But I'm your brother. M: Brothers can be best friends. B: Okay Before bed: B: Mommy, I'm going to love piggies even when I get big. S: Sure, buddy, of course you can. B: I'm going to love them when I get old and then go to heaven. S: Okay. B: (a lip is quivering) They do have piggies in heaven, don't they?

B: Mommy? Did you know that if you eat an apple seed, you will turn into an apple in 10 weeks? S: Really, buddy? Where did you learn that? B: Lillian told me. S: Well, I'm not sure where Lillian learned that, but I'm fairly sure you will not turn into an apple if you eat an apple seed. B: Yes, you will. Lillian told me. The power of a 5 year old.

Picnic Originally uploaded by smaynor Yes, I kiss these cheeks all the time. This past week M had soccer camp at WCA. LOTS of kids, most of them older. When I said good-bye the first day, I leaned down to him and said, "buddy, I have to go now. Can I give you a kiss or just a high five?" I didn't want to embarrass him in front of the sea of children playing soccer. His response? Better than I expected. "Both."

This weekend I had the opportunity to visit with amazing old friends from my days at Camp Soaring Hawk and to say goodbye to one my heroes, Heno Head. A name that I've known for most of my life. A man who has inspired, encouraged, and taught so many about the love of Christ. And now it is close to the time when he will go Home, safe and sound into the arms of His Father. The truth is I want to be like Heno Head. I want to persevere despite adversity. I want to know and remember the names of those to whom God calls me to love and minister. I want to serve faithfully all of my days. And I want to deny self in order to see great movement in the Kingdom of God. Not that God gives us everything we "want," but He does give us those beautiful people and beautiful experiences to see and know Him better. Heno was twice beautiful to me. And I'm sure to many, many more.