Held

I have a friend named Julie, and she's beautiful and funny and sassy, and I really like her. And I have learned that those who have suffered, get it and walk alongside you without having to ask or say a word. They just do it. Music has been a great ministry during these past months, and Julie gave me a song the other day that for now has earned a repeat on my CD player. The words are written by Christa Wells but sung by Natalie Grant. Until a week ago, I had no idea who these two people were. I'm not a huge fan of Christian music, maybe because most of what I have is from 1995, but she's got a cool voice, raspy and organic, and sings with passion and conviction. The lyrics remind me I'm not alone and that the grand plan is so much more than I could even begin to fathom in my limited, temporal mind.

Held
Two months is too little
they let him go.
They had no sudden healing
To think that providence
Would take a child from his mother
While she prays, is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued
What has changed and
Why should we be saved from nightmares
We're asking why this happens to us
Who have died to live, it's unfair

Chorus
This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
and you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
that the promise was that when everything fell
we'd be held

This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
to lilies of the valley and tomorrow

Chorus

If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait, for one hour
Watching for our Savior.

Chorus

So I continue my days, always full of hope but also full of great sorrow and longing for what used to be. But it wouldn't make sense to go back; He's done too much and revealed His grace so abundantly that going back would take that all away. And as each moment passes, I learn more and more of His greatness and how much more He is to me than anything of this earth. And that my sweet Brian, who always looked heavenward, gets it all the time.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Susan, your posts are a treasure to me! Here I am, sitting in your house at your computer, while your boys sleep peacefully, reading about your story. I cannot thank you enough for being brave enough to share it, and as someone else said it perfectly, your blog is a ministry to those that love you! Since it is so crazy when I come over each week, this blog is such a great way for me to know how you are doing and how to pray. I am looking forward to our "girl time!" And believe me, Matt is eager for his "guy time" with M & B. Praying continuously...
2:30 PM
Anonymous said…
The first verse of this song expresses how I feel for both my boys in Heaven -- Allen and Brian. I still can't believe it has all happened but their dad and I are tremendously blessed to have 2 sons in Heaven and 2 Christian sons here still, with you and the other 2 Christian wives - and 4 covenant grandchildren. Love to you all.
maryhelen and bill
2:47 PM
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