The M&M Story

Originally uploaded by Maynor . B. had his first day of school this past week. First of all, he was absolutely thrilled that he got his own backpack. Over the past few weeks, every time the word school was mentioned in our home, I would hear B. say, "Bap pack? Bap pack?" And, of course, he would run to find it and show me how it worked. B. is such a doll, so full of passion and emotion. He reminds me so much of Brian, in the way he looks up and smiles, or the way he nods when I ask him if he's okay. And I think he's even got his father's fashion sense. The kid has opinions on what he wears! Oh, my boys are growing and changing, and I feel so blessed to have them.

Tonight M. asked me to pray to God for him. His request? "Mommy, will you please ask God to make me a saver when I grow up?" Now, a saver in our house is basically a superhero. M. and B. both love Spiderman and the Rescue Heroes and Dash Incredible. (In fact, almost daily M. shows me he runs just as fast as Dash.) When M. crawled into bed a few minutes later, he begged that I stay. His excuse? "Mommy, I get scared by my dreams." Oh, boy. Apparently, he recently dreamed that Spiderman took away his candy, and he didn't really like thinking about Spiderman taking something away from him. I asked him why Spiderman did that, and M. replied, "Well, it wasn't my candy. I took it from someone else." Hmmm, interesting twist. He and I then discussed the point that Spiderman really was a saver because he rescued the candy for the other person, and wouldn't M. want Spiderman to do that? I'm not sure M. followed all my logic (who really does?), but he

cute max Originally uploaded by Maynor . M. attended a Cards game last week with good friends. We couldn't find his hat, so we borrowed his brother's. Oh, what drama we had! Briggs reeeaaally wanted to wear his hat (he hasn't worn it in weeks), and finally I heard M. say, "B. I need to wear your hat because I'm going to a Cards game. I can't wear my hat because it isn't the Cardinals. Do you want to wear my hat, and I'll wear your hat?" That actually worked.

Tonight at dinner M. informed me he was finished with dinner. I asked him to take three more bites of his apple and then he could be finished. He replied, "I already had three bites. If I have three more, that will be six bites." And he didn't even use his fingers to count.

A year ago we were hopeful that God would answer our prayers exactly the way we wanted. Or should I say, I was hopeful He would do what I say. How humbling to be reminded who is God! So it got rough, and Brian didn't get better. And now I must go through my first autumn without him. Eight years ago, Brian and I began dating in September, fell in love in October, and made plans for our future together in November. And last year I held his hand as he sat in a hospital bed in September, pushed his wheelchair and drove him to chemo in October, and said good-bye as he went to glory in November. Please pray for me this season. And encourage me and remember me as I trudge through a time that will bring inexplicable sorrow. Pray for Brian's family--his parents, his brothers--as they continue in their journey of grief. Pray for my children, as they continue to accept and make sense of their reality. Max tells me daily that he misses his Daddy. And sometimes he's mad and sometimes he

Baby "ththth" Originally uploaded by Maynor . Last summer, after much discussion and deliberation with Brian, we finally figured out that B had a special name for his pigs--"Ththth." Well, this summer, after I returned from California in June, I was surprised to hear that "ththth" had become "Gee." Now, you need to know that we are super original in our family when it comes to naming our special stuffed animals. When M was little and had attached himself to his tiger, Brian immediately named the little ball of material, Tiger. And when B attached himself to his little pig, it was obvious the little tyke was to be named Piggy. Now M called Tiger "Dido" for quite awhile until one day he became Tiger. Oh, what a sad day that was! It looks as though I must grieve again.

Yesterday M started swim lessons. He is not particularly fond of getting his head or face wet, but he did a super job practicing his kicks and walking along the wall. Later in the afternoon, we met Nana, Aunt Mimi, and the cousins at the pool and played for over an hour, jumping into the water and running through the sprinklers. Last night it was quiet in my house by 7:30 p.m. This morning nobody stirred until about 7:45 a.m. I heard B calling, "Mommy! Mommy!" I rolled out of bed to get him before he woke up M, and then proceeded to feed him breakfast, play with him, and drink a whole cup of coffee before I went in to see if M was still breathing. At 8:30, I tiptoed in, noticed his eyes were opened, but saw him slam them shut and pretend to be asleep (a first of many, I'm sure.) I let him "sleep" a few more minutes, and then went in again only to be greeted with the same scenerio. I asked if he wanted to get up and have breakfast for which he replied, "No,