The M&M Story

Today is November 7, a day that will always represent one of the most defining moments in my family's life. Fourteen years in Heaven. It was roughly 1:15 in the afternoon when Brian gave his last breath on Earth. It was a Monday, and that afternoon and for many years to come, I found myself begging and praying to God:  Please don’t let anything happen to me. I need to be healthy, strong, and alive for my boys, at least until they live on their own. Please, please, please don’t let me get sick.  As I reflect on that time, I know how traumatized I was, allowing my fear to own me. At some point, the feeling and prayers became less frantic because I learned to tuck the fear away. I guess I had hoped it would just disappear.  This year, as most of you know, has been a journey for my whole family. We have worked together to face challenges, and, yes, we have all grown. But the fear that I so carefully stuffed into the deepest part of my heart? Well, it never did disappear and has been i

It's time to start blogging again. It has a been crazy, crazy year with summer now upon us, and I'm excited to be with my family. Ice tea and gardening. Family projects and travels. Movies and books. And so many stories already. At some point at the inception of summer break, Max and Todd had an interesting interchange that has evolved into a family summer reading challenge. Max, an avid reader, says to Todd, rather randomly: You know how you say you don't read very much, Dad?  Todd: Um, yes? Max: Well, maybe you should read more. I challenge you to read ten books this summer. If you read ten, I will pay you a reward. Max is so much like Brian! We can lose him for hours, only to find him either with his head buried in an engaging book or in a delicious game of Minecraft. This challenge sparked quite the conversation, and it evolved into all four of us planning to read ten books this summer. In partners (Max-Todd, Briggs-Susan), we decided each will choose five books f

As I little girl, I loved....wait....repeat in all caps....LOVED watching the yearly Christmas specials on television.  Right after Thanksgiving, I poured over the weekly TV guide (remember the paper version?), highlighting all my favorites.  There was The Year Without a Santa Claus .  I was definitely Team Heat Mizer.  Cold Mizer had the chill and the height, but Heat, he had the sass.  Then there was Rudolph and Charlie Brown and Frosty and the Grinch. Loooved the Grinch in all his humor and grinchiness. I marked each and every one on my mother's calendar, happily anticipating several evenings of laughter, hot chocolate, and blissful escapes to chilly claymation wonderlands.  But in all my giggly girlhood, there was always one that rather rocked my world. That little drummer boy. I think every emotion pulsed through my eight...nine...ten year old self as I watched this 22 minutes year after year.  Fear. Laughter. Joy. Tears. Those evil bandits. The persevering drummer boy. Th